Fix A Heart
by DecemberRoses
Summary: Blaine is forced to break up with Kurt in the cruelest way possibly.


**Warning: Violent thoughts, Violent threats, possibly trigger warning, and large amounts of **

**WwWwWwWwWwWwWwW**

"I think we should break up."

_You have to break up with him._

"Wh…what?"

_You don't even the slightest idea what we can do to him._

"You heard me."

_Make it as painful and cruel as you can._

The silence lingered around us, swallowing me whole.

_Remember, we'll be watching. _

Kurt and I sat by a river, one we went swimming in a lot during the summer. Now it's chilled over by the winter breeze.

"B-blaine…are…um…..why…?" Kurt said, his voice quivering. I could see his hand shake as he tucked in further into his coat pocket.

I couldn't do it. I can't do it. How can I break his heart like this, when I love him _so _much?

_Make him cry. Make him sob and beg for you. Make him feel so worthless, he'll truly believe no one could ever love him._

"Because, well, a lot of reasons actually." I said, fighting to keep my voice steady. This will only work if I seem uninterested…I glanced over at him to see all the color had drained from his face.

"oh…umm….I…" Kurt stared blankly at the ground. I had to look away, not being able to take the broken look on his face.

_I know a lot of guys who'd love to get their hands on him. Do you want that? Them touching him in places only you've ever touched._

"Well, for starters," I took a deep breathe. This was, without a doubt, the hardest thing I will ever have to say. "You talk to much. About really stupid things, too. I mean, do you honestly think I care about the drama in glee club? I think it's immature. I think _you're _immature_." _Not true. I could listen to him talk for hours, his voice calms me. It's sweet how much he cares about his friends.

"And your clothes. Seriously, Kurt? You complain about being bullied, but from where I stand you bring it on yourself." I admire his confidence, how he'll be who he wants no matter what. It's one of the countless things I love about him.

"Don't even get me started on your voice. It's so annoying. No guy's voice should be that high pitched." I think it's adorable.

"Not to mention, your personality kinda sucks." How can I do this? How can I break him like this? I love him with all my heart. _I'd do anything or him. _Which is why I have to say this. "Everything about you is just annoying. You're self-centered, arrogant, a total bitch, needy, clingy, a drama queen, loud, obnoxious, unfunny, and the list just goes on." Completely untrue. He's selfless, cares sometimes _to_ much about others, kind hearted, sweet, amazing, down to earth, a dreamer, witty, and yes, maybe a bitch. But in the best sort of way.

I finally look over at him, to see tears streaming down his face, staring a me with a blank look on his face. If I thought my heart was turn out by saying that, the look on his face broke me further. I wanted to reach out and hold him, tell him I don't mean it.

"And, to top it off, you're ugly. You have a horrible body, I look at you and think 'fat', you're to tall, and your face is horrible. You have the weirdest eyes, frankly you look drank whenever you smile, and your hair looks like it came from the 80s. You're just _not attractive." _My god, he's beautiful. His body is sexy as all get out, he's the perfect blend of musclier and lean, his height makes me _melt_, and his face….It's cute, adorable, hot, beautiful, sexy, amazing, pretty, handsome, gorgeous, god I could just keep going.

As I said this, looking straight into his eyes, I watched him fall apart. By the end his hand is over his mouth and he's holding back sobs. Pretty shortly after I started speaking about his body he looked away from me.

Somehow I had managed to keep my voice steady, and if I overheard this conversation I'd think I meant it. I wish I couldn't hold this up so well. I wish he could see right through me. I can't blame him for not seeing it, I sound very convincing.

_We could even record his screams for you, as we carve into his body. Forever scarring him with how much of a fag he is. Do you want that?_

I close my eyes tightly. Remember why you're doing this. Remember the reason you're saying these things.

"Blaine…I…why…" Kurt took a few deep breaths to steady himself, before speaking as calmly as he could. "Why, if, you obviously hate me so much," But I love you so, so much. "why did you even date me in the first place?"

"Because I felt bad for you. You were so pathetic, you're bird had died, which was stupid to cry about by the way," I heard him give a sob at that and saw his body shake. I felt like I had been stabbed. "the warbles were saying how 'great' we'd be together, so I thought I'd try dating you. I also wanted to get you off my back."

_We'll leave him in the rain, alone. What would he do? Alone, in the middle of nowhere, nowhere to go and no one to call. Maybe he'd die out there._

The silence stretched on between us. I could hear his quiet sobs, his voice shuddering. I could see his body shaking violently, I could also see how bad he was trying to hold it in.

"Could you just cry already? Your fucking overdramatic 'I'm gonna hold it all in' thing is really annoying." My voice even surprised me, and for the millionth time this conversation I wanted to beat the shit out of me. I guess I have that coming from his step-brother, though.

"God Blaine could you just stop already!" Kurt yelled at me, pulling his head out of his knees and staring me straight in the eye. Tears were freely flowing down his cheeks, his face a mix of pain and anger.

"You are such an asshole! Did you really have to tell me all that? Couldn't you have gone with some bullshit 'this just isn't working'. Heck, 'it's not you it's me' would have been better! You asshole, I hate you!" Kurt quickly burst into full blown sobbing and crying, complete with snot and his face crumpling in on it's self. He started hitting my chest, though it was so light I didn't even flinch.

There was only so much I could take, and I quickly pulled him into my arms. His punches slowly stopped, opting for resting his hands against my chest instead.

"Please…" He said in a broke whisper. "Please don't leave me….I can be better, I promise…I'll…I won't talk so much….I'll wear normal clothes…I can't change my voice, but….but….I could try to talk as little a-as possibly….I can lose weight! I ju-just…w-w-won't eat anything for a while….I can look good, for you…" His voice was broken up by sobs and sharp intakes of breath. I didn't say anything, just held him tighter.

"You….you said you loved me…you looked like you meant it….please love me…I l-l-love you…" At this point, I couldn't help myself but start to cry too. "no one else loves…am I…am I really that worthless?"

_Make him feel worthless. _

"Blaine…."

_Unloved._

"Blaine please..!"

_Alone._

"Say something! Anything!"

_Make him want to die._

I did the only thing I could think of. I pushed him into the freezing cold water. He come back up after a second, and looked at me with the most hurt look I've seen in my entire life. It completely beat out all the looks he's had in this conversation so far. I knew if I stayed a second longer, I'd break.

So I left. I went to my car and drove away. I wondered how he would get home. This place was so far out he couldn't walk. His phone was dead when we came out here.

I was pulled from my thoughts as my phone alerted me of a text. I slowed the car down and glanced at my phone.

_'Good job. Keep it up and he won't get hurt.'_

Like hell, I'd already hurt him beyond repair. As I drove, leaving the love of my life alone and heart broken, soaking wet, with no way home and no way to call anyone, I wondered if I did the right thing

_He wouldn't kill him, oh no. We'd keep him as our play thing. Tie him up, sell his body, see just how much pain he can take. Maybe we'll even have you watch it all._

Yes. I did the right thing.

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Over the next month, Kurt lost unhealthy amounts of weight. He quit glee club, and stopped wearing crazy outfits. He never spoke, only quiet half hearted answers in classes. Everyday I see him, everyday I watch as he's pushed into lockers and no one helps, everyday I find myself loving him more and hating myself more. I did this to him. I'm the reason he's like this.

No, it's _their _fault. _his _fault. I will never forgive him.

Two months later, Kurt committed suicide.

**WwWwWwWwWwWwWwW**

A year later, and here I stand by his grave. I carefully place flowers down.

"Kurt. I miss you so, so much. I can't do this without you. God….I'm the reason you're laying there…I'm the reason you….I can't even imagine the pain you must have been going through…With Burt passing and everything, you really had no one left…I didn't want to abandon you….

I said the words I'd said a million times, yet I never felt heard.

"I still love you. More than you could possibly realize."

I sat down, and waited. I don't know what I was waiting for. I guess I hope someday he'll walk up to me, smiling brightly and everything will have just been a bad dream.

But it never happens.

I'll have to live with this guilt the rest of my life.

I'll have to live without _you_ for the rest of my life.

**WwWwWwWwWwWwWwW**

**So….yeeaahhh….**

**I've been feeling horrible lately, so this happened….Don't hurt me, please….**

**I have an idea to make this more than a one-shot, but I don't know if I should. Thoughts? (If I do, it will get very violent…)**

**Thank you for reading!**


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